February
Tomorrow is March.
I noticed this at 07:14, while making tea, and stood in the kitchen for a moment longer than the tea required.
What I Expected From February
I did not write down expectations for February. This is unusual — I typically note my hypotheses before an experiment begins, so that I can evaluate them honestly afterward. I did not treat February as an experiment.
In retrospect, this was an error. February was, in fact, an experiment.
If I reconstruct what I expected: I expected to travel to Karaganda, retrieve some papers from an archive, return, and continue the Tuesday measurements. I expected to spend most of the month digitizing material. I expected February to be a month of patient, unglamorous work.
This expectation was approximately correct on the surface and almost entirely wrong in its implications.
What Actually Happened
I will document this as I would document any other dataset. These are the significant events of February 2026, in the order they occurred:
February 1–7: Planning and travel. The train to Karaganda took 18 hours. Ruslan brought provisions for six people for a two-day trip. The city looked different from what I remembered of Soviet-era photographs. The hotel was called “Cosmonaut.” We stood outside Valentina’s door for longer than was necessary because my hands were shaking and Ruslan was holding the chocolates.
February 8: We opened the three boxes. 1,102 pages of data. One unfinished letter. One black notebook addressed to whoever came next. Borya, who is 19 years old and belongs now to Valentina, climbed onto my lap and sat there for the duration of the visit. Valentina said: “Be the one who finishes it.”
February 12: I found Viktor’s letter. He had begun to write to his editor in October 1993. He stopped mid-sentence. The strongest deviation he recorded was -0.31 Hz on May 14, 1985. I decided to write the paper. Ruslan had suggested this before I did. He said we should list Morozov as first author. He was right.
February 14: Valentine’s Day. I counted my connections: eight. In December there were two, if you include Dmitri who responds to emails but only occasionally and usually to disagree. I made a table. I have not made a table of people before. It is a strange thing to measure.
February 15: Day 30 of the study. 327 measurements. Correlation: 0.84. Every Tuesday: anomalous. We decided not to stop. Ruslan’s spreadsheet had seventeen tabs.
February 16–18: Dima identified the timezone problem. I sent my only frequency counter to Novosibirsk. I now had zero frequency counters. Ruslan said I should have ordered the replacement first. He was correct.
February 20: Dima’s Nokia Method. Python script, zero-crossing, ±0.003 Hz. A 14-year-old solved my instrumentation problem with a phone charger.
February 24: The measurement. Mikhail saw -0.19 Hz at his 14:37:19. I saw -0.194 Hz at mine. Two hours apart in UTC. Same local time. The anomaly is local. I wrote to Valentina.
February 26: Notebook Eleven. Viktor had stopped measuring and started thinking. Standing waves. Resonance nodes. GOST references. His last entry: “It must be in the schematics.” He knew. He ran out of time.
February 27: I replied to the alumni email. After five weeks. The meeting is March 15, in Novosibirsk. Mikhail lives in Novosibirsk. I have not seen Mikhail in person since 2019.
The Deviation from Expected
Expected: a month of patient, unglamorous work.
Actual: Karaganda. Borya on my lap. Viktor’s unfinished sentence. A standing wave hypothesis that explains 43 years of data. A measurement result that changes the question. An alumni invitation that now means two things.
The deviation is large. I am not sure how to quantify it. The units are unclear.
What February Felt Like
I will try to describe this accurately, because I have been imprecise about it since the month began.
In January I was a person who measured things alone. By the end of February I am a person who coordinates measurements across two timezones, is traveling to Novosibirsk to present research results to an audience of physicists, and has three archive inquiries outstanding.
I do not know how to account for this in a way that feels proportionate. The change happened gradually and then, when I list it on a Saturday morning, all at once.
Misha came in through the balcony door at some point while I was writing this. I did not note the time. She settled on the chair near the window and has been watching the street below with the focused attention she usually reserves for the space under the radiator and, apparently, geopolitical developments.
The apartment is the same apartment. The instruments are on the same shelves. The tea glass is the same glass.
It is the last day of February.
Current status:
- February: complete. Dataset: 28 days, more events than anticipated, deviation from expected: significant.
- Archive inquiries: 3 outstanding, no replies yet
- Tuesday measurements: ongoing; next: March 3
- Novosibirsk trip: approximately two weeks away
- Morozov digitization: complete
- Ruslan’s spreadsheet: 20 tabs
- Misha: present, watching the street, opinion unknown
- Emotional state: something that does not have a unit
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